Since I didn’t think I’d be able to achieve the challenge I was dared re going out on dates during my trip, I thought it would be more effective to source some stories from some filles like me: expats struggling over the hurdles of dating overseas. It turns out the difficulties are not all that much different from here… and possibly even more trying!
On a free evening in Shanghai, I met up for a drink with cute American expat Simone, a friend of a friend who’s been based in Shanghai for a few years now. “I tried to date some Chinese guys, it just never worked out,” she lamented. “At least I’ve never been propositioned to be a concubine!” It turns out a friend of hers has quite the story of indecent proposals (rare, I’m sure or rather I hope!) …
Since meeting through friends or socializing wasn’t working efficiently enough, she decided to try out OKCupid after another friend, who has since repatriated, managed to hook a boyfriend. Couldn’t there also be success for Simone? (for more online dating laughs see Maude’s trials and tribulations here).
There are lots of expats in Shanghai, it being a world business center, so it isn’t surprising she was contacted by people from all over the world. She accepted to go out on a date with a guy in his late 30s, from India, working as an engineer and recently relocated from Helsinki to Shanghai. He had done his Master’s in Milan and lived there for five years, he seemed like he had a great expat profile, and from their initial brief messages, he seemed normal. What might be lurking behind some innocent little text messages, one never knows…
After replying to the first three, she thought that avoidance and not replying would give him the hint… it obviously had the reverse effect! I’ve whited out a few things to make the text messages PG13 but still… Mr Spicy Indian was eager to heat up her bed hotter than a New Delhi heatwave! I’m not sure which are my favorites: the “knock knock” (is that so effective by text message)?! Perhaps the ” I won’t message if u don’t want to reply” (an empty threat as she was still bombarded with messages after!)?? The different tactic of “speak your mind” and “don’t be shy” are also quite cute, though they didn’t work either…. even the “how to convince you” didn’t convince her… to be his kamasutra love slave tied to his bed. Mission Impossible indeed!!
He continued messaging Simone for 2.5 weeks without getting a single reply. At one point he even tried to add her on three social networking sites all at the same time; then he tried to called her two times in the short span of just five minutes! For a while Simone admits that it was amusing and made great dinner party conversation, but after a while it got to be too much. Eventually she told him it was too much and to stop, and much to her (and my) surprise, she’s never heard from him again. However, since “the incident” she’s been relentlessly teased by her married male friends; every time they see an Indian guy here (and there are not many, fortunately for this reason), they threaten to introduce them.
Luckily, the horizons have recently brightened for Simone and she has a promising date with an Australian met in one exotic Asian city to be re-met in second one. Will it be a successful city-hopping romance for our new cherie?
What is it with men and their persistence? Indian, French, Italian, Thai… the whole story is awfully reminiscent of the Film Guy and Maurizio (their insistence well illustrated here), they just can’t take no for an answer! Maybe this can lead to happiness and things turning out to petits coeurs flying in the air? Even if I might be have been a little cynical at the beginning with the wedding poses, commemorating love by redone scenes is certainly better than by text message … and even better in RED!