It seems the Mexican is over his suicidal thoughts… but he is not over the girl – E. Here it is. He’s going full force to win her back. Will she come back? Will he change his ways… perhaps… but is there another girl on the horizon? Read on to find out!
Thursday May 21, 2009 1:35 PM
I have not stopped trying to contact her, but god knows I feel like it. I am getting tired and beginning to question whether it is worth it, if I have that feeling in my heart, I imagine that it must be worth it. I have been sending her emails, with poems, full of my thoughts, my feelings… I have put notes on her door , sweet notes, with the attempt to communicate my love for her. I have taken her roses to her work, I have left them on her doorstep. I have sent her text messages. I don’t know what else to try. I feel like giving up. I need to get a message from her side. A positive one. I am going crazy. It is my opportunity to change. To be only with one, to be only with her. The question everybody is asking, including her and me, is if I can go through with it? I think yes.
I don’t want to go back to my old self. It is really getting to me, all the loves lost, all the broken hearts. In the end I have nothing. There is a woman who is available. She is asking to reserve Friday for her. If I have no contact from E. by then, I will have no choice but to follow through. That will be the beginning of my same old self.; because I have already decided I cannot go further with that girl. It is strange how you know right away if they will be the mother of your children. Of course, sometimes there are surprises. And this girl is such a cutie pie, a white baby doll from Kazakhstan. Fuck. I guess I an lucky and privileged to be with a beautiful girl from Kazakhstan… 24 years of age, soft white skin, almost my height, I am about 5’11” and she’s probably 5’9”. Very clean and sexy. But at the moment my heart is with E. and no one can anything about it. Fuck! Shit!