Shanghai Soulmate Searching … or Surprise Sexting?

Shanghai Bride and GroomOver the course of my four weeks and three countries in Asia I spent a good deal of time observing people as introduced in my last post, but then again signs of love also  came directly to me. For example, in each country, I oddly happened across reposed wedding photos. I’ve actually seen this sort of thing before in Paris, mainly Asians coming on their honeymoon, but not so long ago right on my street on saw some Eastern Europeans getting re-dressed in their wedding finery for some snapshots. Does immortalizing love seal the deal on its success? As I discovered a few times on my trip (and even first hand!), dating overseas can be just as, or even more complicated than back home! Here is a story from Simone in Shanghai and surprise sexting.

Since I didn’t think I’d be able to achieve the challenge I was dared re going out on dates during my trip, I thought it would be more effective to source some stories from some filles like me: expats struggling over the hurdles of dating overseas. It turns out the difficulties are not all that much different from here… and possibly even more trying!

On a free evening in Shanghai, I met up for a drink with cute American expat Simone, a friend of a friend who’s been based in Shanghai for a few years now. “I tried to date some Chinese guys, it just never worked out,” she lamented. “At least I’ve never been propositioned to be a concubine!” It turns out a friend of hers has quite the story of indecent proposals (rare, I’m sure or rather I hope!) …

Since meeting through friends or socializing wasn’t working efficiently enough, she decided to try out OKCupid after another friend, who has since repatriated, managed to hook a boyfriend. Couldn’t there also be success for Simone? (for more online dating laughs see Maude’s trials and tribulations here).

There are lots of expats in Shanghai, it being a world business center, so it isn’t surprising she was contacted by people from all over the world. She accepted to go out on a date with a guy in his late 30s, from India, working as an engineer and recently relocated from Helsinki to Shanghai. He had done his Master’s in Milan and lived there for five years, he seemed like he had a great expat profile, and from their initial brief messages, he seemed normal. What might be lurking behind some innocent little text messages, one never knows…

They made a date at a bar around the corner from her place (a fact he wasn’t aware of). The date itself was fine–nothing special, and even a little boring. In fact, there was no flirting whatsoever. When the bill came he immediately put his card down, proving he was a gentleman (or seemingly so!) but the bar was cash only so Simone ended up paying for most of it, which was fine for her. Outside they said goodnight–no kiss, just a handshake (I guess they don’t have to do any close kiss calls like in France with the bise cheek kiss). A few minutes later he sent her a simple message thanking her for a nice evening. It was only the next day that the strange messages started rolling in!
Indian sexting messages

After replying to the first three, she thought that avoidance and not replying would give him the hint… it obviously had the reverse effect! I’ve whited out a few things to make the text messages PG13 but still… Mr Spicy Indian was eager to heat up her bed hotter than a New Delhi heatwave!  I’m not sure which are my favorites: the “knock knock” (is that so effective by text message)?! Perhaps the ” I won’t message if u don’t want to reply” (an empty threat as she was still bombarded with messages after!)?? The different tactic of “speak your mind” and “don’t be shy” are also quite cute, though they didn’t work either…. even the “how to convince you” didn’t convince her… to be his kamasutra love slave tied to his bed. Mission Impossible indeed!!

Indian sexting messages to send to your boyfriend

He continued messaging Simone for 2.5 weeks without getting a single reply. At one point he even tried to add her on three social networking sites all at the same time; then he tried to called her two times in the short span of just five minutes! For a while Simone admits that it was amusing and made great dinner party conversation, but after a while it got to be too much. Eventually she told him it was too much and to stop, and much to her (and my) surprise, she’s never heard from him again.  However, since “the incident” she’s been relentlessly teased by her married male friends; every time they see an Indian guy here (and there are not many, fortunately for this reason), they threaten to introduce them.

Luckily, the horizons have recently brightened for Simone and she has a promising date with an Australian met in one exotic Asian city to be re-met in second one. Will it be a successful city-hopping romance for our new cherie?

What is it with men and their persistence? Indian, French, Italian, Thai… the whole story is awfully reminiscent of the Film Guy and Maurizio (their insistence well illustrated here), they just can’t take no for an answer! Maybe this can lead to happiness and things turning out to petits coeurs flying in the air? Even if I might be have been a little cynical at the beginning with the wedding poses, commemorating love by redone scenes is certainly better than by text message … and even better in RED!

Shanghai bride and groom red


  • girlseule says:

    Oh wow take a hint mate! What was he thinking, that by message number 534 she’d suddenly change her mind and go out with home again!

    • Ha ha exactly!! I’ve seen persistence before… but this guy wins the prize! At least he backed off when she said enough was enough… but why should she have had to? He should have got the point by himself. Ah les hommes!

  • Patricia Joseph says:

    Wow… This was definitely a trailer… I am an indian woman… And guys like the one u have mentioned above seem to be a never ending nightmare… I have myself experienced this… ND its so annoying at times!

    • Lily la Tigresse says:

      Dear Patricia! I’m glad you enjoyed the article… but I’m sorry to hear that you’ve experienced this first hand yourself! I hope you find some more appreciative and sensitive men 🙂

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